


You and I

by tripleAbatteries (somewhatdecent)



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!, Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Adventure, Crack Crossover, Gen, idk how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:35:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26242018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somewhatdecent/pseuds/tripleAbatteries
Summary: Lucifer and Donkey team up to save Devildom from a chicken invasion
Relationships: Lucifer/Donkey
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	You and I

It was a peaceful day in RAD. That is, if you count Mammon running around the campus covered in chicken feathers while screaming peaceful.

“LUCIFEEEEER!! HELP ME GODDAMMIT!” Mammon screamed as he entered the student council meeting room.

“Mammon’s at it again,” Asmo said while fixing his hair while Mammon continued to scream.

“MAMMOOOOOON!!” 

Mammon stopped screeching like a pterodactyl and hid behind the nearest person, which was unfortunately Levi.

“Lucy, ya gotta help me! A buncha chickens just fucking attacked me! Like what the fuck we have human world chickens in devildom?” Mammon cowered behind Levi.

“Argh! Mammon get off me! I need to finish this episode of ‘I’m one of the most powerful demons in hell and I teamed up with this random donkey from the human world who apparently can talk but that doesn’t matter because we have to save the world from a chicken invasion!!’” Levi shrugged his older brother off.

“Mammon, shut up or I will feed you to Cerberus,” Lucifer said as he sat in his seat, waiting for Diavolo.

“Sup, hoes!” Diavolo yelled, entering the room with Barbatos.

“Levi, what did I say about teaching Lord Diavolo internet slang?”

“...” 

“Don’t worry bout it, chief!”

“... chief?”

“Okay, boomer.”

“Lord Diavolo please stop.”

“Pop off, I guess.”

“... anyways, our topic today is about-” Lucifer just wanted to start the meeting already.

“OH RIGHT! We received news from the human world!” Diavolo exclaimed, cutting off Lucifer.

“What did they say?” Lucifer asked.

“They said that they made a mistake in creating genetically engineered cat girls and ended up putting human DNA in chickens. Apparently the chickens started rioting and destroyed the lab. They’re making their way to Devildom at this moment.” Barbatos reported.

“WHAT?!” Everyone exclaimed.

“THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT ATTACKED ME!” Mammon screamed.

“How could they make such a mistake?” Satan asked.

“Those chickens could’ve served a different purpose,” Beel mumbled

“They were trying to make irl cat girls and no one thought to TELL ME?!” Levi screeched.

“We’re the girls sexy?” Asmo asked.

“...” Belphie was asleep the entire time.

“So what are we supposed to do?” Lucifer asked, turning to Diavolo.

“They’re sending us one of their strongest fighters and they want you to partner up with him,” Diavolo explained.

“Ah, when is he supposed to arrive?”

“RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY!” someone burst through the door- or well, something.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Lucifer mumbled, dumbstruck.

“Ayo this is a nice place! Though it’s a bit overdramatic with the big animal symbols at the top. Oh! Is that a unicorn? You know I’ve met a unicorn before.” The donkey rambled, looking around as he entered the room.

Lucifer penguin walked towards Diavolo, “is he the guy?”

“He’s the guy,” Diavolo grinned. Lucifer’s jaw dropped as he stared at Diavolo.

“Ayo tall guy in the black, let’s get a move on if we wanna save the world,” Donkey said, pushing Lucifer out the door.

The rest of the demon brothers, Diavolo, and Barbatos stared at the already closed door. Donkey’s rambling was still heard in the student council room, “you know, I have a friend called Shrek and he’s also really tall like you. Hey, do you also have a lot of layers like him?”

\------------------------

The two stood in front of a gigantic statue of a rubber chicken head. They bypassed the army of chickens that were guarding the gate by doing a quick run to the shopping district and picked up a few bags of chicken food. As the clock struck midnight, the statue chimed its squeaky rubber chicken noise. They knew they didn’t have much time left. An old demon in a cave had told them of their destiny with the parting words of “the author isn’t smart, don’t overthink it.”

They walked around the statue and found a door behind it. A bunch of arrows with neon lights that pointed to the door and said “enter here!” and “villain lair entrance! No heroes!”

"Well, technically you’re a demon and not a hero and I’m a talking donkey so let’s go in!” Donkey said as he led the way into the rubber chicken head. The proud demon followed him and eventually took the lead. The two encountered a big flight of stairs that seemed to reach the celestial realm. 

“Ay, demon. Don’t ya got wings? Carry me up there, will you?” Donkey turned to Lucifer.

Lucifer sighed and turned into his demon form after realizing that Donkey was serious and won’t back down. He just wanted this to be over. He picked up the donkey by the neck and he started choking and complaining. Lucifer groaned as he picked up the donkey bridal style. God, was this his punishment for the celestial war? Nonetheless, he flew straight up.

The two landed in front of a big door. Lucifer threw Donkey into the floor as soon as the landed. Donkey was complaining but he didn’t care and pushed the door opened. He entered the room with a sour face and was met with an egg heading straight towards his face. He was able to dodge the weaponized egg- which exploded and left a burn mark on the now closed door- and see where it came from. There, in the middle of the room, sat a chicken in a big throne meant for a person. Lucifer grumbled and strutted toward the throne, his fat ass bouncing on every step. The chicken glared at the demon of pride before tackling him.

The chicken stood on his chest. With a surprisingly deep voice, that sounded like it belonged to the trailer voice over guy, the chicken spoke,

“Ba… cock.”

Lucifer’s eyes widened as he realized what it meant. As chicken was about to take a peck outta that hot face, Donkey ran and tackled the chicken. Lucifer took the chance and stood up. He grabbed that cock by the neck and strangled it.

"Well done, Lucy! Now we gotta cook that for dinner." Donkey exclaimed, putting his foot up in hopes of a high five.

"I think Beel would appreciate it if we roasted their entire army." Lucifer said, ignoring the high five.

Donkey jumped into Lucifer's arms and climbed up to sit on his shoulder like a deformed parrot before Lucifer flew away through the conveniently sized window. 

Finally, this shit show was over.


End file.
